What if I didn't have my phobia?

What if I didn’t have my phobia?

Occasionally, very occasionally, this sentence pops into my mind. Usually when I’m tired, or nostalgic. When things feel dark. And I wonder, what if?

What if I didn’t have my phobia?
What if I never had my breakdown?
Would university have been more fun?
Would I have traveled more?
Would I have been brave enough to walk away sooner?

And then I remember the magic.

I’ve learnt how to notice when words get caught in my throat. When I need an outlet to process the emotions my body is holding.

I’ve discovered what it means to have a passion. A purpose. Something I stay up at night to ponder and a mission that I truly live for.

I’ve taken leaps of faith and truly lived my life. WITH my phobia. WITH anxiety. That they are usually now gentle whispers who remind me to take care of myself but when they yell, you’d best believe I’ll listen.

And I’m reminded, that there’s so much magic stemming from the darkness.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

Your mental health diagnosis does not mean your dreams are no longer available to you.

So don’t give up.

You’ll find your magic.

Just give it time.

What’s one piece of magic that’s come from your tougher times?

Tell me in the comments! 👇👇👇👇👇