Piano playing has been very cathartic throughout my life and I’m very grateful that I did practice all those years ago. It gave me a focus that I found uplifting and fulfilling. In my teenage years it allowed me to express my emotions when I had no words, when I couldn’t connect, it was a release. As a struggling single Mum it gave me a profession of piano teaching and I thank all those who played with my children whilst I taught their children. You were such a lifeline. But I loved seeing how students would learn to relax their bodies and freely express themselves through the music, through the beauty of the sound. I knew how valuable it could be, a step towards autonomy and authenticity, the very roots of a healthy way of life.
As I learnt how to nurture muscular freedom though piano playing in my teaching I also became aware of how frozen my body and mind had become through my struggles, my bodily tension reaching an unhealthy place, my mind fraught and rigid. Once again I turned to my piano and I started from the beginning again, drawing out the freedom I had lost note by note. I became fascinated by how I had lost inner freedom to stress and anxiety and how I could retrieve it. My exploration took me to Alexander technique, to mindfulness, to meditation, my inner self searching for peace and the freedom that I had lost. Therapy took me further along the way of finding out why anxiety and panic were so prevalent in my body. Gradually, I have realised that the piano had given me self-care, mindfulness, bodily freedom and a means of challenging my mind. Once again I can feel free to express the emotions I feel. It’s never been a solitary place as I have played, I’ve been accompanied along my way, a friend for life.
Sally