To me, being brought flowers has always been associated with being wanted, being valued and being cared for. When my step dad buys them for my mum, or my mum buys them for my grandma, it’s a small act of kindness that can hold so much value.
For me, this year was the hardest yet. I was asking more questions than ever about who I was, and I felt there was little kindness around me in regard to how I was treated by others as well as by myself. That is when I began buying myself flowers. I thought, if this act is so wonderful when done for others, why can’t I do that for myself? Show myself that care and feel wanted and valued, for myself, by myself. With that in mind, throughout the last year I have brought myself the same bunch of gypsophila flowers every other week. They live on my windowsill and remind me that even when I can’t see through the bleak, when I don’t feel valued by others or understood, I can do that for myself. That I can care and cherish myself.
I felt so passionate about this small act of self-care that I recently tattooed the same flower I have been buying myself for the past year, on my arm. For me, at the end of a turbulent year, it reminds me that the act doesn’t have to be the boldest or the biggest. Buying myself flowers is a small act, but the revolution was the care it brought with it. It reminded me to value myself, and that was a revolution in itself.
Gina