Alright guys - I'm gonna get real with you. Getting a puppy was one of the hardest things I've done....in my entire life. Now look, I've had anxiety, moved countries, gone through immigration, had medical emergencies....and getting a puppy is STILL in the top 3 hardest things I've ever done. For those of you out there who have gone through this journey...especially those of you with sensitive nervous systems...I KNOW you feel me. I think I've only ever spoken to one person who said that having a puppy didn't really change much...but her boyfriend owned a dog training company so I'm going to toss that up to experience. ;)
Lyndsey and I made a lot of practical mistakes. For example, we decided it would be a good idea to sleep on the couch to get her potty trained so we didn't have her in our bed and so we didn't have to come downstairs each time we wanted to take her out. But potty training took like 2 months and the physical distance between me and Lyndsey led to a big disconnect in our relationship. What do you get when you take sleep deprivation and overstimulation and put them together with disconnection? A recipe for relationship disaster.
There's no doubt about it - puppies are SO cute. They are loving and sweet and playful and the most adorable things you have ever seen - I know. But I had such a tough time - I was tired and overwhelmed and just a bag of nerves really. Why?
STIMULATION OVERLOAD.
I had no idea how much of an impact this would have. Or how often I'd be facing it. For example, we knew that we have to train her or our future lives will be miserable but the crying is SO exhausting for empaths to endure for an extended period of time. Other self care struggles were not being able to switch off and watch a 20 minute episode of friends, my favorite self care items being destroyed, the crazy jumping which actually really hurt...I always intentionally make time for a reset and there just wasn't one so I felt like I was losing myself and honestly, I became quite resentful.
So for those of us out there who are struggling with their pup a bit more than expected, here are my my top struggles and self care tips to get through the puppy stimulation.
1. People love puppies when it's not theirs so I would maybe suggest that you ask one of your friends or family members to puppy sit for an evening. Think about it...they get cuddles and to leave at the end of the night and YOU get 3-4 hours where you and your partner can go get some R&R, get some dinner, have a conversation and come up with a game plan for moving forward.
2. Find some time to go to a movie. Alone is preferable and maybe even when you have that pet sitter over. The reason I love this so much for self care purposes is that you will get to indulge in 2-3 hours of uninterrupted viewing and it will be such a relief. It will allow your nervous system to reset and you to go back to having patience and kindness. This means a better home environment for your pup. [Going to a movie has actually become one of my favorite self care items full stop with all the animal stimulation at home].
3. If you haven't already, book in a puppy class. Immediately! Knowing you have a plan in place, a foundation for progress led by an expert, will help reassure you in those tough moments and make you feel less alone. There's too much noise out there to do it by yourself. You can usually sign up to a 6 week course for about $80-$100 and, if your instructor is any good, they will also be willing to give you helpful hints on individual problems at the end of class.
4. Take your puppy to daycare. I know I know. I hear it al the time too "it's SO expensive" and "that's just weird - you're being lazy - take your pup on a walk!". But the truth of it is that puppies have a TON of energy that they don't know what to do with, and when you're transitioning your life, you may have a demanding job and it's not easy for you to nip home. I know I did. There are so many benefits to daycare. Socialization is one of them, so your pup can learn how to play with other dogs. As a new puppy Mumma, you can get shit done without guilt and what's more, when they get home they will actually be tired and will just sleep and cuddle and do all the things you would want them to when you've had a tough stressful day.
5. Give yourself some grace and be a realist. You are NOT a bad person for struggling with this. You are still an incredible Mumma and it's ok for you to be struggling. The realism part is kind of a funny one for me because I am 100% an idealist, but you have to remember your pup is just a baby. It's going to make mistakes, it's going to have a small bladder. It's going to destroy things. It can't communicate what it wants. Once you accept that, life will be a little easier and they will be grown and entertaining themselves in no time.
It's like what they say, take care of you and you will be better equipped to handle the pup and just remember, when things in your life transition, your self care has to transition too!
I would love to know you managed the transition into puppy life. What tips do you have? Tell me in the comments below!
