Ahhh the dreaded interviews. As an introvert, these have been particularly hard to stomach. I doubt myself, I tell myself I'm never going to be the best connector because I have introverted energy...and its frustrating because in Boss Life, there really is no bigger moment to really show up. I'm not just talking about physically. I mean showing up physiologically, psychologically and emotionally. You see your hopes and dreams ahead of you. You know you can do and would LOVE the job. But fear gets in the way.
So I've been reading a couple of INCREDIBLE books lately and I've been working with an my coach, Sarah, and this month we did a lot of talking about interviews. How to show up as your true self, which in high intensity situations isn’t one of my natural strengths. It takes some work, some support and some intense self care. Here's the top 4 things you should be doing to show up as your best self.
1. GET PERSPECTIVE
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks has been on my July reading list and is a great book but there's one sentence that really stood out to me.
"Fear is excitement without the breath." - Gay Hendrickson - The Big Leap
I just want to take a moment to soak in the meaning of this sentence. Fear is excitement without the breath. Fear....is excitement....without the breath. His thinking is this...the same parts of your body that create the sensation of fear also create the sensations of excitement. So hypothetically, he argues that you can transform fear into excitement by merely breathing into it.
Here's the story - I'm prepping for my interview, getting ready in the morning, putting on my clothes, and my palms are sweaty. I'm in the car practicing answering questions, out loud, to myself (as you do) and I have to stop halfway through because my voice keeps breaking...all of a sudden the realization hits me that I'm meeting with SEVEN interviewers today, one after the other. That's 3 HOURS worth of interviews. I get the dread drop in my chest and of course, I'm starting to completely freak out.
Fear is excitement without the breath. Fear is excitement without the breath.
Fear....is excitement....without the breath.
The conversation in my head (with myself) goes like this....
Why are you afraid?
I'm afraid because I'm scared I'll fail - screw up a question, forget some of the crucial information I've been studying.
Ok but why are you afraid?
Isn't it obvious?? If I screw it up, I won't get the job.
Did you prepare?
Hell yes. I've been studying for weeks!
Ok so...fear is excitement without the breath...let's flip this around...if fear is excitement without the breath, then your fear can be transformed into excitement. What are you excited for? Why are you choosing to go through this?
Oh, um...well. This job would be such an incredible opportunity for me to make a larger impact. The company is growing and is full of SO many opportunities for growth. The culture is incredible. The content is incredible. The people are AMAZING. It would change my life.
Ok so what I hear you saying is that really, you're excited for this incredible opportunity you've been given and you've been preparing for, for weeks.
Yes.
[Enter the voice of my incredible coach] Use this as your stake. Think about what you want to bring to the table? What do you want everyone else to walk away with after they are done talking with you? Is it fear and anxiety? Or is it passion and excitement?
Well duh...
So often we go into situations like this focusing on the practical. What do I want to say? What do I need to research? Who do I need to know about? But we forget to think about our bodies and the bigger how and why questions. How do I want to show up? How do I want to feel? How do I want them to feel? Why am I doing this in the first place? Why am I so excited about this? How can I show them!?
Our emotions. Our stake. It's all about intention. Of course you want to knock their socks off. but if you go into a situation understanding what you want other people to feel, it is so incredibly powerful in guiding you in how you will show up, and it will change your perspective. The words I came up with were sparky (focused excitement), self assured & humble. Get grounded, dig deep and find your own.
2. BREATHE
Ok so we have the end goal, but what do we do next to make sure our bodies facilitate this? BREATHE. Use your breath. Your breath controls your nervous system and powers your body. It gets you grounded and keeps you there as long as you let it. My main self care breathing tool has come from Yoga with Adrienne. By the way, who else just LOVES this girl?!?! This 20 minute session for anxiety is my go to when I need to unwind because it's low to the ground and stretches my body out. But for this, I specifically want you to work on the alternate nostril breathing exercise she does in the beginning. I know. It sounds a little kooky but trust me it is INCREDIBLE. I do this practice on planes, in my car, in my office...whenever I'm feeling anxious and stressed. I did it multiple times a day leading up to the interview and even while I was alone in the interview room before we got started.
GAME. CHANGER.
3. THE POWER POSE
Amy Cuddy is my hero. One, because she is incredibly vulnerable in this youtube video and also because she is the mastermind behind the power pose theory. In a nutshell, power pose for 2 minutes in private before any stressful situation and your body will change. Her theory is that our bodies can change our minds, our minds can change our behaviour and our behavior changes the outcome. To be clear here, this isn't about being 'powerful'. It's about changing your physiology. Think about your intention in step one - this pose leads you to be more authentic and come across as enthusiastic, passionate comfortable. Your GENUINE self. Tiny tweaks can lead to huge changes - all you need is 2 minutes, your body and some privacy. Skip to 13.25 for the section on interviews.
Thank you to my other hero, Amber for reminding me to do this ;)
4. NOURISH
If you are anything like me, you probably struggle with this one the most. There's SO MUCH TO DO. I gotta think about my outfit, get a hair appt, get studying. I don't have time to eat properly and you'll be lucky if I remember to drink 1 pint of water every day. I'm not even remotely joking. Sometimes, I don't pee until like 2.00 pm - and I get to the office at like 7.00 am.
Here's the thing. Your body cannot function on empty. You have to fuel it. Water is EVERYTHING. If you're dehydrated, you can't function at normal capacity, let alone at your best. I went and brought some huge bottles of water and challenged myself to drink at least 2 a day. I peed like a mother for the first couple of days and then my body got used to it.
With food, this time I opted for low-maintenance grain bowls. Just because we talk about nourishing, doesn't mean it has to be time consuming. I (or my wife!) cooked up some grains for a few days and went and bought salad items and we just gorged on that. Simple. No mess. No effort. Healthy ways to get the body some vitamins.
Remember, a small act of self care can be a revolution. What are some of the things you do when you're preparing for a big interview? How do you prepare your body? Comment below!
