Trigger Warnings: Sexual assault, violence against trans individuals, childhood trauma, transphobia.
Our guest, Jonah!
Welcome to episode eight of The Oh Shit Kit! Today we are joined by Jonah Spector, who is studying for his Master’s Degree in Social Work and who has done a ton of amazing advocacy work with the trans and gender minority community! Jonah also hugged Barack Obama, so we’re super jealous. Apparently Maddie has also been in Obama’s general vicinity, but NOT LEORA. She’s super pissed about being the odd one out, don’t get her started.
Trans mental health is today’s topic, and it’s a super important one because trans people are at a higher risk for a variety of mental health problems. However, having programs in place to provide support for trans people can help to lessen some of the risks associated with being a gender minority.
Jonah tells us a bit about his journey, starting with the struggle of being a trans person and a trans advocate in a mostly conservative area. Jonah came out as trans at the age of twenty-two. Jonah tells us that he was struggling with depression and feeling like he was trapped inside himself. Jonah started by coming out to one friend, which gave him the courage and strength to come out to more friends and to his family. Jonah was very fortunate in his coming out process as his family was generally accepting right from the start.
Jonah tells us how he ended up doing advocacy work, which began when Donald Trump called trans people “burdens”. This gave Jonah the push to do something about the environment that trans people were living in. Jonah and some friends started a group where anyone who identified as a gender minority could come and volunteer and socialize together. From there, Jonah became involved in a coalition called Safe Out, which is a substance abuse and suicide prevention coalition for trans people. This allowed Jonah to learn about advocacy, talking effectively to legislators, and how coalitions work. Next, Jonah and some friends created a website called QuTopia, which is a place for trans and gender minority people to rate their doctors, so that people can find trans competent doctors and reduce the chances of negative and/or traumatic experiences with the medical community.
We discuss barriers trans people commonly face when coming out. Jonah states that his coming out experience was pretty great, aside from some microaggressions, but this is not a typical experience. Some common barriers are social stigma and internalized transphobia, which Jonah states that he faced and sees many people experience. Family rejection is a huge risk factor for suicide among trans folks. There are also systemic issues, such as being discriminated against by the government and some politicians. This can also affect people on a practical level, making it more difficult to obtain healthcare or other services. Trans people are often not protected under hate crime laws, and coming out means having to deal with a lot of scary bullshit in order to be authentically you.
We discuss what to do when you are a more privileged member of a marginalized group, which all three of us can relate to. We discuss the importance of using this privilege to stand up for others who may not have as much privilege or safety when speaking up. Jonah discusses the difficult balance of wanting to stand up for others without taking their voices away. When Jonah was presenting as female, he could try to talk over people and often they wouldn’t listen. Now that Jonah presents as male, he notices people getting quiet when he says something. Jonah is learning how to avoid talking over others who may not have the same types of privilege. Jonah has also noticed that he is given more respect and treated as more competent since he transitioned.
Transitioniong has come with privileges, but also fears and risks for Jonah. Jonah has struggled with being socialized to be fearful of men, then becoming a man and worrying about others being fearful of him. Jonah also began fearing sexual assault once he transitioned, which was unexpected and terrifying. Jonah wishes he had gotten and kept a therapist during his transition so that he could have an ally facing unexpected and unpredictable challenges. Transitioning is exciting, but it also comes with unexpected emotions and changes, so it’s good to have a trained, competent professional on your side. YouTube is not a licensed therapist, contrary to young Jonah’s beliefs.
We ask Jonah how we can be supportive allies for the trans community. First, educate yourself rather than expecting trans people to educate you. Mentioning your pronouns (even if you’re not trans) when you meet someone new can help to normalize this, so that trans and gender minority people aren’t the only ones who have to identify their pronouns. Also, research how your votes will impact trans people and vote as an ally with trans rights in mind. Finally, let people speak, and never out people.
Jonah’s advice about getting started with community involvement or advocacy is: JUST DO IT. Put up some social media events, grab a few friends, and invite anyone who needs support to come and join. These small pieces of action can add up to a huge impact within your community.
We ask Jonah to tell us what he thinks people can do to determine if a therapist is trans competent. Jonah’s advice: ask your therapist how much experience they have working with trans people and with those who have similar concerns to yours. Avoid therapists who minimize your experiences (this goes for everyone). If you don’t have access to a therapist who has experience working with trans folks or people with similar issues to yours, find a therapist who is willing to learn.
Trans and gender minority people face a variety of challenges that can lead to difficulty managing mental health. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources and people who care in the world. We hope this episode will help people access those resources and people more easily!
TOOLS
Come out to one friend who is likely to be accepting if you need support and courage to come out to others.
Use resources such as word of mouth or online resources to find trans competent doctors or mental health professionals when possible.
If you are a privileged member of a marginalized group, be the person who speaks up for others, but be careful not to speak over others and take their voices away.
Get a trans competent therapist to help you through unexpected challenges during your transition journey.
Look for online or in-person support groups where you can talk to others who can understand and validate your experiences. Try searching “trans resources [the name of your city]” if you don’t know where to start.
To be a good trans ally; educate yourself rather than expecting trans people to educate you. Try adding your pronouns to your email signature and social media, and telling people your pronouns when you meet someone new. Let people speak, and don’t out anyone.
If you want to start a group or advocacy movement, JUST DO IT! Decide on a time and place, and open it up to others on social media. You can create a whole lot of change with minimal effort.
Offer to be there for people in your life who might be afraid to go to the doctor
If you are looking for a trans competent therapist: ask questions about if they have experience working with trans people AND if they have experience working with trans people who have similar concerns to you. If you don’t have access to a therapist who has experience working with trans folks or people with similar issues to yours, find a therapist who is willing to learn.
RESOURCES
GLAAD Trans-Specific Resources: http://bit.ly/TOSKTransResources
PFLAG Resources for Education/Allies: http://bit.ly/TOSKTransAllyResources
QuTopia: https://www.qutopia.us
CITATIONS
Johns, M. M., Beltran, O., Armstrong, H. L., Jayne, P. E., & Barrios, L. C. (2018). Protective Factors Among Transgender and Gender Variant Youth: A Systematic Review by Socioecological Level. The Journal of Primary Prevention, 39(3), 263–301. doi: 10.1007/s10935-018-0508-9
Preidt, R. (2019, August 16). Higher Risk of Mental Health Problems for Transgender College Students: Study. Retrieved from https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2019-08-16/higher-risk-of-mental-health-problems-for-transgender-college-students-study.