Today we are bringing you a bit of a throwback that we recorded right at the beginning of our podcasting journey. We weren’t sure about releasing this one at first, because it felt pretty vulnerable! However, we are now ready to...drumroll please...talk about how to maintain your boundaries while talking about your mental health and sharing YOUR story!
Storytelling can be a powerful tool for healing and finding community, which can help with your mental health. This is, after all, one of the main reasons we started this podcast! However, with telling our stories, comes fear. Just like different tools work for each of us, the appropriate boundaries for talking about YOUR mental health are individual to YOU! Some people may have very few boundaries and share their story openly, while others may want to keep their sharing to those who are very close to them. There’s no right or wrong answer.
For Maddie, checking-in with her body, writing, and talking with people she trusts helps her to identify her boundaries in a given situation. This means “making space”, which involves taking time and engaging in activities that allow Maddie to make the right decision for her. We both decided to share our stories and drop some of our boundaries for the sake of this podcast so that other people can see that they are not alone. After all, so many of us feel alone when we are actually surrounded by other people who are struggling with their mental health! Imagine if we could tap into that support and create a community of openness and vulnerability!
Your story is yours, and you get to decide if you want to tell it, how much of it you want to tell, AND to whom! For those of us who are prone to anxiety, it can be hard to differentiate between the boundaries that are really beneficial for us, versus the boundaries that your anxiety wants you to put up- these are likely based on the worst thing that could possibly happen, rather than the actual likely risks. Here comes Rodney: anxiety is an adaptive behavior, evolution promoted anxiety because those who had it were more likely to “run from the lion”. Leora says maladaptive again. We know, she can’t help it.
Leora shares her story about starting to talk more openly about her anxiety, and how this vulnerability led to her discovering that others, including people she is very close to, have similar struggles that Leora was not even aware of.
Similarly, when Maddie began talking about her mental health blog, She Be Red, others began sharing their stories and relating to Maddie’s mental health struggles. The conversation that followed was very therapeutic for Maddie and probably for others involved in the conversation. This was because Maddie’s story was received with a positive reaction in this situation. When this happens, it helps us to feel less alone.
Leora shares her experience of starting to talk about her psychiatric appointments with others. Some people have an uncomfortable reaction to this. Leora decided to try her hardest not to worry about the people who feel she should keep her mouth shut, because other people might actually benefit from hearing that she sees a psychiatrist! It might make them feel less alone or less stigmatized.
Did you guys know that Maddie is a content artist, and a pretty damn good one too? That’s why our social media and website look so pretty. Anyway, Maddie had to make a decision about whether or not to put her mental health blog on her resume. She ended up doing it, and she is now gainfully employed, so it worked out for her! However, it isn’t always so peachy. Maddie has also had experience working in an environment where mental health was seen as a weakness. Yuck. In that case, you gotta walk your fine ass out the door (we know, the Lizzo quotes are getting out of hand, sorry not sorry).
Self-disclosure can be a tricky bitch, and sometimes it’s based on something as simple as the amount of energy that you have on a given day. This is true for mental health, as well as for other disclosures, like sexual orientation. Leora is assumed to be heterosexual a lot (microagression city, we know), and often decides whether or not to correct somebody based on whether she has the energy to educate another person in that particular moment. Safety also plays a role in self-disclosure on this topic (some situations just aren’t safe to come out in).
This leads us to another point. Some days, your mental health is in a better place than others. You may be more open to disclosure on days when you are doing better, than on days when you are really struggling. You do you, boo.
Big news: we are not in a great place all the time. I know, we had ya all fooled.
We wrap up this episode with our very first fight. Maddie loves “Sex and the City”. Leora can’t friggin stand Carrie Bradshaw. We’ll keep you updated about whether or not our friendship survives this riveting battle of the minds.
Our big takeaway is that your boundaries are yours, and they will change based on the situation. In other words, this is a how-to guide in which we have no idea what the fuck we’re doing. You’re welcome, and we hope you enjoyed it. Please let us know what you think by commenting below or connecting on social media! We are The Oh Shit Kit on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.
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