It’s time to address the elephant in the room: Leora’s obnoxious cackle. We know, we know, but don’t give us too much grief or we might cry about it. Our editor, Charlie, thinks we should look up at the ceiling when we laugh but we feel like Cruella Deville when we do that, so it’s a work in progress.
In other news, this episode is about some of our “Oh Shit Moments” and the tools we use. We go into imposter syndrome, which is a fancy term for feeling like you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. If you feel it, you’re not alone, trust us, we have a citation and everything (see below).
Leora dives into the difference between a psychiatrist and other types of doctors, and how psychiatry can help if you are interested in taking medication to manage your mental health. However, if psychiatry is not accessible to you, any prescriber can work with you to manage your mental health through medication if you wish (a doctor, physician’s assistant, or nurse practitioner).
We get into a discussion about how mental health issues and stressors can manifest physically, and Leora breaks out her nerd voice (his name is Rodney, don’t wear it out) to tell Maddie that she is “an interesting specimen”. Leora continues the trend of gettin’ nerdy with ya by explaining why slow, deep breathing physiologically calms our bodies and minds down.
We talk about our struggles with sitting still for meditation. We also remind ourselves that if you fucking hate doing things, you don’t have to do them! Find the tools that you enjoy doing AND that work for you.
Breaking news from this episode: Maddie is still from England even though her accent is “dodgy”. We continue to learn that Leora has no self-control when it comes to making jokes that interrupt Maddie’s insightful self-disclosures. Maddie teaches us about the circles theory and how it has helped her to separate the things she can and cannot control.
We talk about how evolution has promoted anxiety as a way to protect ourselves, but this doesn’t necessarily serve us in many situations in our modern world. This episode is full of tips and tools that we have used, so see our list of tools and links below!
If you need help, call 1-800-273-8255 in the United States, or 116-123 in the UK.
Tools for your kit from today’s episode!
1. Imposter syndrome
Be aware of imposter syndrome, which is a term used to explain the feeling of doubting your abilities and/or accomplishments. You might relate to this in your professional life, your personal life, or even in joining the conversation about mental health. Many of us have questioned if our story has value and can help others. Spoiler alert: everyone’s story matters, including yours. Everyone questions their ability to do things when they are first starting, but finding the best tools to help you through imposter syndrome can be vital to achieving your goals.
2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ABC Worksheet
The ABC worksheet is a tool commonly used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The sheet consists of three columns. In the first column, one writes an event that occurred and resulted in strong emotional response. In the second column, one writes the thought they had about that event. In the third column, one writes the emotion that resulted from the event. A key piece of CBT is learning to recognize the thoughts that occur between the event and the emotion. It turns out, if we can change the thoughts that we have about the event, we can often reduce negative emotions associated with an event. Often, we can be our own worst bullies, and you may notice some common themes among the thoughts you have that result in negative emotions. We’ve provided a worksheet for you to use to get started with this if you think it will be helpful for you.
3. Yoga and/or meditation
Yoga and meditation can be powerful tools, but they can also be hard. For us, struggling with sitting still during meditation has been a huge challenge. If you feel you are someone who would benefit from meditation and/or yoga, there are lots of resources out there that allow access to these tools for free. YouTube has many free yoga videos, we’ve provided a link to one of our faves. There is a meditation app called Calm that provides meditations right from your smartphone, and we’ve provided a link to their page as well. If you decide these are the right tools for you, there are plenty of ways to access them. However, there are so many tools out there! If you find that you hate yoga or meditation, you don’t need to have that tool in your kit. Your toolkit is all about what works for you and what you enjoy doing.
4. Psychiatry
If you decide that medication is something that is right for you, it can be a powerful tool in managing your mental health. If you have access to psychiatry, your psychiatrist will have specialized training and may be able to find the ideal medication for you more easily than a primary care provider. However, you can see any prescriber, including medical doctors, nurse practitioners, and physician’s assistants, for help with mental health medication. Some may find that talking to their primary care provider about medication is sufficient, others may want a referral to psychiatrist to explore medication options with a doctor specially trained in managing mental health.
5. Breathing exercises
Breathing in general is a useful tool for managing stressors. There is a reason that slow, deep breathing calms our anxiety down. You might notice that when you’ve been in a stressful situation, your breathing will be shallow and fast. This is a sign that your body is in stress response state, otherwise known as “fight or flight”. When you slow your breathing intentionally, you can undo this process. Slow breathing sends messages to our brain telling it that the stress response is not necessary. Whatever type of breathing works best for you is great- find something you enjoy doing and can access easily in a moment of crisis or high stress. We’ve provided a few examples, including a video demonstrating alternate nostril breathing and a link to the Calm app where you can access the breathe bubble (a visual aid for deep breathing).
6. Circles Theory
For some, therapy is the ultimate tool to have in the mental health toolkit. Therapy can teach you so much about yourself, make you more aware of your underlying beliefs, and help you to change thought patterns that cause you distress. Maddie learned about the circles theory in one of her therapy sessions. The circles theory is a way to conceptualize the idea that there are certain things that are not within your control. You can control what is in your circle, but not what is in the universe’s circle, or what is in other people’s circles. This is a handy visual adi to remind us of good, old fashioned boundaries! Remember, you cannot be responsible for the emotions or behaviors of others, but you can control how you respond to others and how you respond to stressors in your life. That gives you a whole lot of power, but it is important to let go of what we cannot control.
7. Developing a community
Having people around you who support you and understand you is an incredibly powerful tool for managing mental health. Some of you may already have this, others may not, and that’s okay. Your community can be one person who you feel you can turn to, it can be an online community, a support group, a pet, or a family member. Just find someone or a group of people who don’t make you feel judged when you talk about your struggles. Our Facebook page might be a good place to start! Or, if you’re really feeling alone, a licensed therapist can provide support and help you cultivate your own community with someone else by your side.
8. Exercise that you DON’T HATE :D
Exercise is a proven way to reduce symptoms of certain mental health diagnoses. In particular, one study found that the right amount and intensity of exercise can be as effective as antidepressants in the treatment of major depressive disorder. There’s a good reason that exercise helps us when we are feeling anxious or sad. Exercise is hard because it puts stress on your body. When your body is under stress, your mind releases chemicals to get you through tough times...meaning, you’re ready to run from the lion (even though the lion is probably just a work review or a disagreement with a loved one). The chemicals released during exercise are called endorphins, and they are designed to keep you going so that you can escape the perceived danger. In other words, exercise releases those “happy chemicals” that some of us may be lacking. It’s important to find an exercise you enjoy, so you can add it into your life in the long-term, if you feel this is a tool that you would like to have in your kit. Maddie enjoys Zumba, while Leora enjoys running. Brisk walking, playing sports, going to a gym, or anything else that makes you sweat will do the trick. Just make sure you don’t hate it! If you find something you “don’t hate”, you might come to enjoy it. Exercise is self-reinforcing because of the happy chemicals it releases in your brain. Eventually, your brain will learn “doing this makes me feel good”, and you may actually want to go for that run you would have been dreading two months ago. They don’t call it a “runner’s high” for nothing, after all!
Yoga video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJJWArRfKa0
Alternate nostril breathing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VwufJrUhic
Square breathing: https://www.healthline.com/health/box-breathing
Calm app: https://www.theohshitkitpodcast.com/calm
Citations
Dalla-Camina, M. (September 3, 2018). The Reality of Imposter Syndrome. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-women/201809/the-reality-imposter-syndrome
Ioannis D. Morres, Anton Hinton-Bayre, Efthymios Motakis, Tim Carter and Patrick Callaghan, A pragmatic randomised controlled trial of preferred intensity exercise in depressed adult women in the United Kingdom: secondary analysis of individual variability of depression, BMC Public Health, 10.1186/s12889-019-7238-7, 19, 1, (2019).