#25: 3 Lessons I Learned From Being Laid Off

 
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We have previously done an episode about mental health in the workplace. But what we haven’t talked about is what happens when you are laid off. It’s important to note that being laid off doesn’t always have negative effects on someone’s mental health...but this episode is for the many, many people out there who experience poor mental health after this event happens...which is truly most of us in one form or another.

Leora is lucky enough to never have been laid off...but me? Well my friend, in 2018 I was there. I LOVE to work and so the environment became really important to me and when it’s gone, there was suddenly this void. If you’re like me, you often spend more time working than with loved ones…the workaholics out there will feel me! It was a really hard time - I felt a lot of shame, frustration in the way it was done. And I had a lot of lessons to learn as a woman in business.

You’d be surprised at how many of us are impacted by this. Here’s some stats to get us started...

  • In 2018, US businesses laid off 21.9 million workers nationwide.

  • 40% of Americans have been laid off or terminated from a job at least once.

The Stanford Faculty Staff website cited the below as common and possible symptoms/effects of being laid off….

  • Mentally: anxiety, shock/disbelief, irritability, anger, frustration, resistance, sadness, fear, loss of enjoyment or appreciation, feelings of worthlessness, shame and loss of self esteem.

  • Physically: fatigue, headaches, weight loss or gain, sleep disturbance, upset stomach, muscle pain and nausea.

There’s no doubt that any of the above symptoms can have a negative effect on your mental health, whether or not you have a diagnosis or not! 

So you found yourself in that position, you’ve cleared out your desk, you’ve driven home and you’re sat in your living room wondering how this could have happened…what should you do first?


Four things to do first...

  1. Take at least 3 days off. A week if you can. Disconnect from the place you’ve spent all your time for the last however many years and sit in your own space. Get in tune with your body and turn to self care. Buy a new book on a topic you haven’t jumped into for a while. Go out for drinks with your friends or partner and celebrate all you’ve achieved.

  2. Write a list of all the things that are truly unique to you. Your strengths. Your boldness. What makes you stand out? What are you proud of in your previous role? Which of those things make you feel good in your body. What makes you excited? Follow that feeling.

  3. If you have one, or you find yourself experiencing symptoms above and feel like you could benefit from it, book a session with your therapist. They can work with you to put a plan in place to take care of yourself as you move through the transition.

  4. Although this didn’t make it into the episode, working with a business coach is also a really great thing to do. They can help you use this as an opportunity to find a new path. One that feels really good, exciting and fulfilling. 


Maddie’s Case Study: LESSONS LEARNT FOR FORWARD MOMENTUM

Although the above can pertain to everyone, I wanted to share some personal insights that I learned as a consequence of being laid off.


ONE: Your network is everything. 

I have so, so much gratitude for my incredible network. Whether that was my sister in law helping to connect me with local professionals or connections I had made in my previous job supporting me and connecting me with others, it was so grounding. I had people I knew from my industry, who I had never really spoken to, sending messages of support. I had people offering to give me recommendations on LinkedIn. I got the opportunity to explore industries and have coffee with professionals I really admired. It was awesome. Emotionally, the support was invaluable. Practically, it got me on my feet so much quicker than I could have hoped for and in fact, encouraged me to turn a small side project into a full on side hustle. Which I LOVE. I am so grateful for that.

So be really mindful of the relationships you are building as you are working. Life can turn on a dime and those relationships could be the difference between thriving and surviving (although I will argue that it’s always gonna be a mixture of the two).

 

TWO: Money spent on materialism is NOT empowerment.

I had to re-evaluate a lot of things when I was laid off. My identity as a working woman. My identity as a breadwinner in the household. My materialism. It was painful in lots of ways to realize that this was shifting and I no longer held that status in my marriage. Not only because of the shock of it, and honestly, not even because of the ‘things’ I was losing. But because it’s what I’d built a lot of my self worth on. I realized that I’d stopped listening to what felt good in my work. I was following this track of materialism and spending SO much money on things. Literally things - hello Target and Amazon and massages and jewelry and meals and all the things. I was buying so many small things I didn’t need because I thought that was what success was supposed to look like. I think it became this visual representation of my work. But I was missing the mark.

What happened was when I was laid off, was we suddenly had very little money! I hadn’t planned for this AT ALL, so I didn’t have a practical plan in place. I now understand that having a financial PLAN is empowering. Thinking about your money having IMPACT is empowering. Being SMART and saving for your future is empowering. There is always fun in treating yourself - lord knows I still do that. But having a strong foundation first is everything. So this was an invaluable lesson that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.


THREE: SHAME is the biggest enemy. Getting to know YOU is key…away from work.

“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” - Brene Brown

I got part time gigs WHILE hustling to get my side hustles up and running (THANK YOU TARGET!) and I am so grateful to have had the work, but there was definite shame involved in doing what I had to do at the time. When you’re used to being a manager, and you run into old co-workers as you unpack boxes in the middle of Target…it feels…mortifying. And truly, it’s not about the work, it was about a change in my perception of status, something that I actually no longer believe in. But if this is you, first you must give yourself some compassion.

As life slowed down and I had all this time to think, I realized that instead of always thinking about the person I was working for, I now had permission explore who I was. To create and let my imagination run wild.

So my advice? Ask what YOU want. What YOU want to be when you grow up. Where you find value and fulfillment. And also…to face the other things you’ve maybe been avoiding. So explore! Use that network. Take up hobbies you have always wanted to try. Fill your calendar with YOU time and coffees with people who fill you up and make you happy. The magic in this is that moving out of the environment I was in gave me my freedom again to get to know myself. Space to realize that my values are very much based in creativity, authenticity, impact, advocacy, art and connection. Those things weren’t at the forefront of my life for a long time, and now they are what I base my decisions on. Now I’m working in side hustles I love and looking for career opportunities that I KNOW will fulfill me long term.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball.

So take a moment to stop and figure out how to use this opportunity to create some positive change in your life. Maybe it’s more time with the people you love. Maybe it’s getting back in touch with nature. That momentum will carry you where you need to go. That’s the place to make decisions from.

I went from having a side project and no job, to having a side hustle and a part time job...and now? I'm a full time entrepreneur running my own business...all in less than 18 months. So don’t lose hope. You never know where life could take you next.

Written by Maddie Ace

TOOLS

  1. Take at least 3 days off. A week if you can, to take stock and gather yourself before taking your next move.

  2. Write a list of all the things that make you who you are, your big takeaways and what you’re grateful for.

  3. Book in some time with a therapist or business coach.

  4. Use your network and start exploring your options.

  5. Set yourself financial goals based on security and impact to protect yourself in the future.

  6. Give yourself compassion and do some soul-searching to find out what YOU want. Chances are, this happened for a reason.

CITATIONS

What have been some of the positive you’ve experienced as a consequence of being laid off or walking away from a role? Tell us in the comments below!

(Let’s keep it positive!)