What people don’t tell you about becoming an advocacy artist is how to continually try to manage daily trials and also blog about them at the same time. I’ve learnt that it’s so important not to blog about things as they are happening. Rather, wait until you’ve had some form of closure before trying to turn it into content…I mean, you can go ahead and do it right away if you want, but if you want to have an intention behind your art and to feel really good about what you’re putting out into the world, just wait until your gut tells you it’s the right time.
This week is my birthday. It’s also the one year anniversary since I started this blog. So I’m doing a lot of self reflection and coming to terms with what’s brought me to where I am today. There’s been a lot of pain in this year’s journey, but with every pain point has also come one hell of a lot of love.
I recently decided to take a break from blogging as every time I went to write something, it felt a little too vulnerable. So instead, I made it my mission to find my creativity again and in that space, I started new projects like the podcast, got my life to a really great place as I moved through the transition of divorce, and I finally wrote my first complete song in over 5 years.
Here’s to a new year, closing out an old chapter to create a new phase of life, and more creativity to come!
Lyrics below.
Mx
So Much To Say.
But it’s denial of emotion that feeds the dark.
There’s no point in denying that I have these scars.
I thought that I would fit in, it’s not true.
I thought that I would break, but I won’t break for you.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way.
It’s been a long road, thought that I was ok.
But I‘ll break this thing down oh make no mistake.
I’ve learned to love myself, I won’t return to hate.
But there’s so much to say.
Come here can you hear the weeping willows cry?
Scratching out your name.
You won’t find freedom in the shadows of my mind.
There’s so much to say.
You think solutions are all in the world outside.
You’re such a delight…
But in my mind you are no longer welcome to hide.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way.
It’s been a long road, thought that I was ok.
And I‘ll break this thing down, oh make no mistake.
I’ve learned to love myself, I won’t return to hate.
But there’s so much to say.
There’s so much to say.
My world’s on fire every time that you come near.
Lit a match to fear.
Now I’m tired as I’m wading through my tears.
How dare you sneer.
You think solutions are all in the world outside.
You’re good with gas lights.
But in my mind you are no longer welcome to hide.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way.
It’s been a long road, thought that I was ok.
And I‘ll break this thing down, oh make no mistake.
I’ve learned to love myself, I won’t return to hate.
But there’s so much to say.
So much to say.
It’s denial of emotion that feeds the dark.
There’s no point in denying I have these scars.
I thought that I would fit in, it’s not true.
I thought that I would break, but I won’t break for you.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way.
It’s been a long road, thought that I was ok.
I‘ll break this thing down oh make no mistake.
I’ve learned to love myself, I won’t return to hate.
But there’s so much to say.
